in with Terry Jones on the green as he created more chaos among the protesters and bystanders outside the Lazzara Theater. At one point it almost seemed as if the real show was going to be outside, instead of the GOP

debate being held inside with the Republican candidates.

GOP recap:

http://popkultur3.wordpress.com/2012/01/26/gop-pictures-i-spy-on-unf-green/

- http://news.jacksonville.com/specials/gopdebate.html

Don’t be the only one left out of the loop, click the link and follow along! Also follow me @5starsassy as I tweet throughout the day about the mayhem on my university’s campus!

if you missed my first post of the day, I’ve also provided the link below for that:

JaxDebate: First blog post of the day

Below is a link to another post I wrote about how I will be participating in the debate’s  media madness behind the scenes through live blogging, twitter feeds, and podcast for my Applied Print Journalism class. All of which will be used either for the local newspaper’s website Jacksonville.com, WJCT and for NPR’s segment  “Media Roundtable” with Melissa Ross. Even though I’m not a fan of politics, the experience is going to be awesome and I’m looking forward to doing something different. Not to mention, I have a lot more than my grade on the line for these assignments. This is an opportunity to allow my work as an aspiring journalist to speak for itself and hopefully this will lead to more doors being open.

PopKultr3: Part of the Media Madness (Republican debate 2012)

 But I felt like I wanted to share the post and may enlighten other with what I read. I enjoyed the post and it got me to thinking about my own love life, so if you’re in an awkward place with love and relationships, read this blog and do a little reflection. It never hurts to do a little pondering on your own life every now and then, especially if you’ve ever  had to ask yourself “How did I end up like this?” Click on the link below to read the full blog post from IamNecole.com. I guess this also comes in hand with Valentine’s Day being right around the corner huh?

In saying this, I’m learning that part of being a woman is knowing what you want when it comes to men and being able to stand firm and not settle for anything less. I’m often guilty of not completely holding onto my own standards. I find myself saying things like “Well he may not be this, but he makes up for it here, or he may not have it all together in this area, but maybe I can give him the benefit of the doubt because he’s ok in another area” Whenever you find yourself making compromises as such: STOP! Because quickly enough you will find yourself settling for anything just to gain a little piece of happiness for the moment. (A moment that won’t last forever, might I add!)

I’m not sure when I fell into this cycle  I’ve had going on with men for the last 2 years, but it’s really getting old. I’ve reached a point in my life where I want more. Yes I want commitment! and I will ask you within the first 3-4 months what your intentions are with me. I know I’m 22, and at this age most people are looking to just “chill” and have “fun”. Well I’m not knocking you, and fun is great, but I don’t want to be stuck “chilling” and having “fun” but not progressing. I like to know that in any relationship I’m a part of whether it’s boyfriend and girlfriend, mother- daugther, or just a simple friendship, that in the end there’s going to be some kind of growth or productivity from us being part of each other lives. I believe every relationship should have a purpose.

So I’ve decided to take at least the rest of this year off from guys and focus on my career, graduating from college and my writing. Already I’ve found myself more focused on my writing and career and small doors have been opening for me to explore these avenues on larger scales. This break, isn’t me giving up on love and saying that all men are dogs. (Men are only dogs if you allow them to treat you that way) This is simply me, taking a moment, or a few months to get back to building myself up to the woman I want to be.

I’ve realized there was no point in trying to hold onto my “boo’s” just for a little “fun” or “chill time” here and there, because I know I want more and I expect more. And if that’s not a standard that can be met at this time, then there’s no point in holding onto the dead weight when I have so much more in life to focus on and pursue.

Young women back then were more conscious of themselves and what it mean to be a woman of God. Young women had more of a mystery about themselves; something deeper, given by God, that would intrigue others. Dating used to include a lot more boundaries that young men and women have gotten away from.

Young women back then, understood that their worth wasn’t simply their physical body. They knew that when it came to the men, they had a lot more to offer because God had given them something of a greater value on the inside beyond the physical. Being a woman was about the complete package: mind, body and soul.

Today a lot of young women are missing out on this key concept and instead they only believe that all they have to offer a man is the physical; their body. So many young women fall into the trap of constantly giving themselves to men and never really filling the void that was there to begin with. I believe that one reason young women sleep around is because they’re looking for answers. But what they don’t realize is the answer to the question is God.

Jeremiah 42:3-6, 19-22; 43:1-4 “Looking for an answer“

Background scripture: Jeremiah 42

The people asked Jeremiah to pray to God for them and whatever God said, they would do. But once they got God’s answer, they rejected his word because they didn’t get the answer they were hoping for. There are some young women right now, looking for an answer. God has the answer they need, but they’d rather look to the world to give them the answer they want.  They’re looking for th answer that keeps feeding into their dysfunction.

A lot of young women sleep around to fill a void. They often feel like something is missing, but this void can only be filled by the love of God and his truth.  It seems as women we’re always looking to be “wanted”, we feel “lonely” or we’re “looking for love.” But it’s the perception of these concepts that are key.

“Wanted“, by who? The world and people? Just so that they’ll turn around and reject you anyways. As a woman of God, your acceptance  shouldn’t be based on worldly standards. “Lonely”..why are we lonely when God’s presence is omnipotent? He hasn’t went anywhere. The question is where have you allowed your mind to wander off to? “Looking for love“..love as defined by who? The world? God is love, so there’s no excuse for that one. While we’re looking for something or someone to fill these voids and answer our questions,  all we have to do is open our eyes and see that God is the answer staring us in the face.

Titus 2: 1, 3-5 “Am I a Titus 2 woman?”

Background scripture: Titus 2

A church member of mine spoke on this topic at an evening service and I felt that it was relevant to the current topic. Too often we’re so busy giving ourselves to this other person hoping to fill a void, but do we ever stop to think about what are we giving away to begin with?

These verses give us a taste of how God wants us to carry ourselves as women, so that when God does allow the right man to come into our lives, you’ll be able to give him something other than the physical.

Proverbs 31: 10-31 “The virtuous woman”

I’m sure many of us are familiar with this scripture, but it’s one we should really take to heart as women of God. We must be a different breed of women, set apart for God’s purpose. There is a certain manner we must present ourselves in. When we decide to become intimate with another person, these are values that we should already have instilled in us, not be looking for the other person to impart these things in you. Allow God to impart these things into you before you so freely give it away to someone who won’t be able to appreciate it anyways. God has given you something precious and deep. Be responsible with your virtue. Don’t waste it on someone not worth it.

John 4:7-10, 13-15, 25-26 Quenching a Thirst (Woman at the Well)

My pastor preached on this and I feel like it can be applied to this current subject of giving ourselves away as young women. When we are constantly giving ourselves away to things of the world, we create an appetite. (It doesn’t just have to be men). In order to satisfy this “craving” or “thirst” we have, we look to the world to put an end to the thirst. While we’re  so busy “quenching our thirst” we forget that the thirst will only go away temporarily. (When you depend on the world as your source of “water”)

But God offers us a living water. When we allow God to truly enter into our lives, he’ll change our taste and our appetite for certain things. We should allow God to quench the drive in us to run after worldly things that can’t guarantee us anything. If we aren’t careful, using worldly things to “quench our thirst” can lead to habitual habits. If we quenched our thirst sleeping with men one time, the next time we get “thirsty” again, we’ll do the same thing.

A thirsty spirit can only be fully quenched by God. The thirst isn’t the issue. It’s natural for our souls to have desires and wants. But the real issue is how we quench the thirst. Know that no one can quench your soul like God. He puts an end to the thirst versus covering the thirst with dysfunction. God can quench a thirst so good that we won’t even look to the thing you were thirsty for in the first place the same ever again. Not only will God satisfy your thirst, but deliver your mind at the same time.

Mark 5:25-34 ” A Special Touch” (The woman with the issue of blood)

This particular scripture is for every young woman who feels that in order to feel wanted or loved, a man has to “touch” you in a certain way. There’s no amount of touching a man can ever do in the natural that compares to the touch of God in the spiritual. God’s touch is so much deeper. Why is it that we’ll allow other to be intimate with us and not really hesitate, but as soon as it comes to letting God fully into our lives, we hesitate?

When you’ve truly been touched by God, he leaves a mark on your life and I promise you, you’ll never be the same. In the natural you have to be careful in letting people get too intimate because you never know the spirit behind things. Before you know it, this “touch” could lead to an unexpected emotional stronghold. (Trust me, I’ve been there. It gets ugly)

Although man can give you a touch you want, it’s not the touch you need. A physical touch may temporarily fill a desire but it does nothing to feed your soul the proper nourishment. The touch God gives you works from the inside out. When God gets on the inside  he digs deep at the root of the problem. He’s not looking to help us cover up the pain or the hurt, but from touching you within, he’s beginning a healing process.  Just like the woman with the issue of blood know that it only takes God touching you once, to truly know there is nothing or no one like HIM.

Application: Before you decide to become intimate with the next person who comes into your life, ask yourself these questions:

1. Am I able to offer this person more than the physical?

2. Am I trying to fill a void?

3. What am I expecting to become of this?  (Will there be a future involved beyond the sex?)

Think about all the other qualities that make you the woman that  you are. Take the time to share these qualities with the other person. Allow the other person to get a chance to know you for who you are outside of the physical. The more a person know about you as a person, the more they will be able to appreciate the intimacy of being physical with you.

Make sure that you aren’t using the person to fill a void. And if you are, then spend more time reading God’s word and allowing HIS truth to pour into your soul and fill you up!

And also as “old school” as this may sound, the best thing to do is wait until marriage. I know that a lot of young women haven’t (myself included), but there’s nothing like preserving yourself for the right man sent by God. Otherwise if you keep simply dating with the intentions of “having fun”, then you’re going to end up blending in with every other girl. God set you part to be different. God has given us a standard and that’s what we should be striving for.

Your presence leaves me breathless

so many nights I’ve spent restless

waiting for you

just to be held in your grasp

and to taste just one kiss

so that my dream can become  a reality.

Standing on the edge, holding my breath

takin it all in

seeming too good to be true.

Perfect, made just for me.

From head to toe.

 Our fingers intertwine to never let go

holding on to a love that can’t be defined or imagined

a love  not even our souls can phantom.

But it all seems so right.

For once in my life, can I have this moment?

All mine. Forever imprinted on my heart

where love has left its footprints.

Pieces of me, pieces of you

together we create a whole new being.

We gave love a whole new meaning,

When God breathed life into two  souls, destined for one another.

Diving deep without a chance to catch my breath

a cooling calm that leaves my soul refreshed.

Taking my hand to lead the way on our journey

keeping my heart safe within reach

a bond both sacred and deep.

A trust built on faith.

A foundation of truth.

A relationship designed by God for a greater purpose

than just you and I.

We were given a task to be set apart and redefine

 a new hope,

that can endure,

a passion that breeds creativity

to feed two souls with two hearts

 that beat together in harmony to a special tune

that we like to call

love.

grew into an infatuation of pure lust.

Wanting to be held,

to fill a void of lonely nights.

Lying in your arms

with a wondering mind

and a restless soul

with a guilty conscience that won’t let up.

Something that once felt so good,

now a burden to my spirit.

All I wanted was to be held,

but a simple touch wasn’t enough.

The kisses I once craved

are now venom to my lips,

poison

seeping into my heart

destroying the one thing I held sacred

a peace

now lost.

Lying in your arms, with a bruised heart

that has become numb to the pain.

Your eyes are pits into a dark place,

a gateway to death

that sucks the life left in my soul.

Trying to fight, but the poison of your lips is too strong

and I’ve lost the will to resist.

Taken over by the venom

as my eyelids grow heavy, everything within me suffocates.

My soul dies a painful death as it is infected with a numbness that overcomes my whole body.

I breathe and open my eyes to find,

they’ve become the pit into a dark place of pain and poison,

 where there’s no turning back

once you’ve entered the gateway of death.

or listen to me cry and count the reasons

the last dude broke my heart

the next guy shouldn’t have to play that part.

Why am I holding him hostage, when all he wants is a chance?

Nothing too complicated, just simple romance.

But I won’t allow him past my wall

Having a hard time letting go of the past, because I’m scared to fall.

All he wants is a piece of my mind

but I’m still wounded, so I need some extra time

to heal the bruises from past love affairs.

I just hope that when I’m done, he’s still standing there.

I only want to be the best woman I was created to be

But loving my flaws is also a part of  loving me.

I know I’m not perfect, maybe even a little damaged

but I promise my imperfections won’t put you at a disadvantage.

If you meet me half way, that’s all that I can ask

I’m willing to hold on tight and hope that this new love will last

I don’t want to be scared, so I close my eyes and leap

I put it all on the line for you, my heart is yours to keep.

Most young ladies make the mistake of basing their self-esteem on how many friends they have, how many guys like them, what kind of car they drive and how much money they make. This is only a small portion of a larger list that some young ladies use to build their self-esteem. The bad thing about this is when you take away all the extra materialistic items and the people who may be around to compliment you, then what are you really left with?

When you build your self-confidence in God, it can’t be taken away. God will place things in your heart that the world will never be able to touch. Self-confidence from God allows God to fill in all the missing gaps so that you can be made whole again.  Usually, low self-esteem comes from not feeling like you’re complete and there’s a lack of something in your life. Many people waste time trying to fill this void on their own when what they’re really lacking is God. If we simply base our self-esteem on things of the world, then it can only be temporary. But confidence found in God is much deeper with a greater purpose. Anyone can give a cheap compliment, but it takes true love from God to really know who you are and the purpose He created you.

Psalm18: 2, 29-32 “Know Your Power through God!”

Background scripture: Psalm 18:1-32

* (These scriptures come from an amplified study bible)

2 The Lord is my Rock, my Fortress, and my Deliever; my God, my keen and firm strength whom I will trust and take refuge, my Sheild, and my Horn of my salvation, my High Tower 

29 For by you I can run through a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall

30 As for God, His way is perfect! The word of the Lord is tested and tried; He is a shield to all those who take refuge and put their trust in Him.

31 For who is God except the Lord? Or who is the Rock save our God?

32 The God who girds me with strength and makes my way perfect?

The reason we fail to have high self-esteem is because most of the time we don’t realize or understand just how powerful God really is. In this passage David describes how he had confidence to stand against his enemies because he knew his strength lied in God’s hands. He had enough confidence in God to know, that God wouldn’t allow him to fail.

If more women were conscious of the power they could have through a relationship with God, then they wouldn’t have low self-esteem. Self-esteem can increase once you acknowledge that your power comes from God. God never fails, so it’s something you can stand firm on and trust. Not being confident means you doubt the power that God has placed in you.

Psalm37:3 “Confidence equals trust“

Background scripture: Pslam37:1-6

3 Trust (lean on, rely on and be confident) in the Lord and do good; so shall you dwell in the land and feed surely on His faithfulness, and truly you shall be fed.

Another way to define “confidence” is putting your trust in God and having faith that he knows what’s best for your life. When I say that true confidence is found in God,  I mean it’s built upon the idea of trusting his guidance for your life. When we put our self-confidence in things of the world, we’re leaving our lives up to an unstable fate. God is always consistent. When you build your self-esteem up in God, then you’re able to see things in a whole new manner. You face things with a new confidence (attitude), knowing God won’t allow you to fail. God has put something in you, so that through you, he’s able to get the glory.

Psalm57:1, 7 “Allow God to Define you”

Background scripture: Psalm57:1-11

1 Be merciful and gracious to me, O God, be merciful and gracious to me, for my soul takes refuge and finds shelter and confidence in you; yes in the shadow of Your wings will I take refuge and be confident until calamities and destructive storms are passed.

7 My heart is fixed O God, my heart is steadfast and confident! I will sing and make melody.

When you’ve truly found self-esteem in God is when you trust God to be the one to build you up and keep you. Allow God to define who you are. You can’t rely on things of the world to give you true self-esteem. You are who you are, because God said so. We’re often disappointed in who were are because we were relying on the world to tell us something to cover up our own dysfunction. But by allowing God to build you up, it doesn’t cover the dysfunction, it gets rid of it. 

There’s a healing in trusting God to make you the woman He wants you to be. Finding self-confidence in God means knowing your worth as a woman. It means you allow God to create the standards for your life.  You won’t be able to understand your value as a woman until you have a relationship with God. Building your confidence in God says that He sees you as an investment and He’s willing to poor the proper love and care into your heart to make you whole as the woman He wants you to be.

Self confidence is found in what makes you, you.  It’s about the qualities  that you take pride in or the things you feel make you stand out among others.  Having true self-esteem in God means knowing that he set you apart as a Christian for a greater purpose.

Hebrews 10: 35 “Confidence is rewarding”

35 Do not therefore, fling away your fearless confidence, for it carries a great and glorious  compensation of reward.

Confidence in God is rewarding on so many levels.  It’s a reward you must experience for yourself to truly understand and appreciate the woman who God has created you to be. When you know that your self-esteem is anchored in God, then nothing can shake that foundation. No one will be able to tell you differently. True self-confidence in God brings about a joy in knowing you’re following His standards to become the best woman you can be.  The true reward is allowing God to make you. God isn’t trying to make you a “better” woman, but a “different” woman, set apart.

While we’re so busy searching for acceptance and approval from the world, we don’t realize nothing in this world can save our souls on our dying day. In turn, we should be seeking approval from God to make sure he’s happy with the decisions we’re making in our life.

Application: Make a list of 5-10 things you consider to be important in your life when it comes to defining who you are. Think about where your own self-esteem and confidence comes from. Evaluate your list and determine how many of these items are materialistic or things that can easily be taken away.  If majority of your list consist of materialistic-based items then take this time to evaluate who or what it is that you’re basing your self-esteem on.