My grandmother was explaining to me how back when she was growing up it seemed like young women had more pride about how they carried themselves. Young women used to be raised to not be so “free” with themselves. This is because back then, there were older women to plant seeds and set examples to keep the younger women on track. (There’s isn’t much of this in today’s time)
Young women back then were more conscious of themselves and what it mean to be a woman of God. Young women had more of a mystery about themselves; something deeper, given by God, that would intrigue others. Dating used to include a lot more boundaries that young men and women have gotten away from.
Young women back then, understood that their worth wasn’t simply their physical body. They knew that when it came to the men, they had a lot more to offer because God had given them something of a greater value on the inside beyond the physical. Being a woman was about the complete package: mind, body and soul.
Today a lot of young women are missing out on this key concept and instead they only believe that all they have to offer a man is the physical; their body. So many young women fall into the trap of constantly giving themselves to men and never really filling the void that was there to begin with. I believe that one reason young women sleep around is because they’re looking for answers. But what they don’t realize is the answer to the question is God.
Jeremiah 42:3-6, 19-22; 43:1-4 “Looking for an answer”
Background scripture: Jeremiah 42
The people asked Jeremiah to pray to God for them and whatever God said, they would do. But once they got God’s answer, they rejected his word because they didn’t get the answer they were hoping for. There are some young women right now, looking for an answer. God has the answer they need, but they’d rather look to the world to give them the answer they want. They’re looking for th answer that keeps feeding into their dysfunction.
A lot of young women sleep around to fill a void. They often feel like something is missing, but this void can only be filled by the love of God and his truth. It seems as women we’re always looking to be “wanted”, we feel “lonely” or we’re “looking for love.” But it’s the perception of these concepts that are key.
“Wanted“, by who? The world and people? Just so that they’ll turn around and reject you anyways. As a woman of God, your acceptance shouldn’t be based on worldly standards. “Lonely”..why are we lonely when God’s presence is omnipotent? He hasn’t went anywhere. The question is where have you allowed your mind to wander off to? “Looking for love“..love as defined by who? The world? God is love, so there’s no excuse for that one. While we’re looking for something or someone to fill these voids and answer our questions, all we have to do is open our eyes and see that God is the answer staring us in the face.
Titus 2: 1, 3-5 “Am I a Titus 2 woman?”
Background scripture: Titus 2
A church member of mine spoke on this topic at an evening service and I felt that it was relevant to the current topic. Too often we’re so busy giving ourselves to this other person hoping to fill a void, but do we ever stop to think about what are we giving away to begin with?
These verses give us a taste of how God wants us to carry ourselves as women, so that when God does allow the right man to come into our lives, you’ll be able to give him something other than the physical.
Proverbs 31: 10-31 “The virtuous woman”
I’m sure many of us are familiar with this scripture, but it’s one we should really take to heart as women of God. We must be a different breed of women, set apart for God’s purpose. There is a certain manner we must present ourselves in. When we decide to become intimate with another person, these are values that we should already have instilled in us, not be looking for the other person to impart these things in you. Allow God to impart these things into you before you so freely give it away to someone who won’t be able to appreciate it anyways. God has given you something precious and deep. Be responsible with your virtue. Don’t waste it on someone not worth it.
John 4:7-10, 13-15, 25-26 Quenching a Thirst (Woman at the Well)
My pastor preached on this and I feel like it can be applied to this current subject of giving ourselves away as young women. When we are constantly giving ourselves away to things of the world, we create an appetite. (It doesn’t just have to be men). In order to satisfy this “craving” or “thirst” we have, we look to the world to put an end to the thirst. While we’re so busy “quenching our thirst” we forget that the thirst will only go away temporarily. (When you depend on the world as your source of “water”)
But God offers us a living water. When we allow God to truly enter into our lives, he’ll change our taste and our appetite for certain things. We should allow God to quench the drive in us to run after worldly things that can’t guarantee us anything. If we aren’t careful, using worldly things to “quench our thirst” can lead to habitual habits. If we quenched our thirst sleeping with men one time, the next time we get “thirsty” again, we’ll do the same thing.
A thirsty spirit can only be fully quenched by God. The thirst isn’t the issue. It’s natural for our souls to have desires and wants. But the real issue is how we quench the thirst. Know that no one can quench your soul like God. He puts an end to the thirst versus covering the thirst with dysfunction. God can quench a thirst so good that we won’t even look to the thing you were thirsty for in the first place the same ever again. Not only will God satisfy your thirst, but deliver your mind at the same time.
Mark 5:25-34 ” A Special Touch” (The woman with the issue of blood)
This particular scripture is for every young woman who feels that in order to feel wanted or loved, a man has to “touch” you in a certain way. There’s no amount of touching a man can ever do in the natural that compares to the touch of God in the spiritual. God’s touch is so much deeper. Why is it that we’ll allow other to be intimate with us and not really hesitate, but as soon as it comes to letting God fully into our lives, we hesitate?
When you’ve truly been touched by God, he leaves a mark on your life and I promise you, you’ll never be the same. In the natural you have to be careful in letting people get too intimate because you never know the spirit behind things. Before you know it, this “touch” could lead to an unexpected emotional stronghold. (Trust me, I’ve been there. It gets ugly)
Although man can give you a touch you want, it’s not the touch you need. A physical touch may temporarily fill a desire but it does nothing to feed your soul the proper nourishment. The touch God gives you works from the inside out. When God gets on the inside he digs deep at the root of the problem. He’s not looking to help us cover up the pain or the hurt, but from touching you within, he’s beginning a healing process. Just like the woman with the issue of blood know that it only takes God touching you once, to truly know there is nothing or no one like HIM.
Application: Before you decide to become intimate with the next person who comes into your life, ask yourself these questions:
1. Am I able to offer this person more than the physical?
2. Am I trying to fill a void?
3. What am I expecting to become of this? (Will there be a future involved beyond the sex?)
Think about all the other qualities that make you the woman that you are. Take the time to share these qualities with the other person. Allow the other person to get a chance to know you for who you are outside of the physical. The more a person know about you as a person, the more they will be able to appreciate the intimacy of being physical with you.
Make sure that you aren’t using the person to fill a void. And if you are, then spend more time reading God’s word and allowing HIS truth to pour into your soul and fill you up!
And also as “old school” as this may sound, the best thing to do is wait until marriage. I know that a lot of young women haven’t (myself included), but there’s nothing like preserving yourself for the right man sent by God. Otherwise if you keep simply dating with the intentions of “having fun”, then you’re going to end up blending in with every other girl. God set you part to be different. God has given us a standard and that’s what we should be striving for.