I was up late reading through the Bible and as part of my reading I came across Judges 6:14-15. Initially when I read it, I didn’t get how this related to an image of self-worth. However, I read the breakdown by Joyce Meyers in my study Bible and it brought it all home quickly.
This is probably the most moving thing I’ve read in the last few months. (I am still in that dangerous disposition of having the knowledge but not applying it 100% to every part of my life..so allowing the word to fully penetrate has been a little difficult these days. However, this one hit home.)
I will put myself out there and say that I’ve always struggled with my self-image. I grew up for years not thinking I was pretty enough because of the gap I had, I was flat chested for years and I hated my nappy hair. Even with all of that being “fixed” so to speak ( I grew boobs, I got braces, and I’ve embraced my natural hair with locs..)..none of that changed the way I felt inside about who I am.
At 22, it’s gotten a lot better, but I still know certain areas, I still have insecurities. After reading this scripture I’m learning that I must take these insecurities to God. Really we shouldn’t be insecure because God made us all the way we are for a reason. So to be insecure in who you are, is to doubt the person God has made you to be..physically and spiritually speaking.
What I really loved about the breakdown was that Joyce Meyers did a list of “thoughts that reflect a wholesome, God-centered self-image” on her list, 4 of the bullet points stood out to me.
1. “I am going to work with God to overcome my weaknesses, but I realize that I will always have something to deal with; therefore I will not become discouraged when God convicts me of areas in my life that need improvement”
I am guilty of easily getting discouraged because of my weaknesses that I struggle with. But this has shown me that everyday we’ll have to put up a fight for something. We can’t be Christians and want to be passive to the problems around us. They’re not going to o away, but God will help us to better cope with the situation.
2.” I will not be controlled by what people think, say or do. Even if they totally reject me, I will survive. God has promised to never reject me or condemn me as long as I keep believing.”
Man, rejection is tough for me. It’s an area I constantly struggle with. I’m the type of person, who doesn’t like to make enemies. I want everyone to have a positive relationship with me, I want other people to accept me and be part of their life. And the moment, someone rejects me (and it’s more so with men, than people in general) I shut down. I do have a tendency to care what others think of me, because I’m always trying to make sure I’m seen in a positive light, and when I’m not then it’s always an issue. But it’s a work in progress.
3. “No matter how often I fail, I am not a failure unless I quit trying. Therefore I will not give up, because God is with me to strengthen and sustain me. He has promised to never leave me or forsake me.”
This is connected to the point before it, because once I’ve failed at something multiple times and I don’t see any progress, I shut down. I quit trying. But what I also learned from my Pastor is that God isn’t counting the number of failures that we have, but he’s looking for people who are still willing to try after the fall. The fact that you’re willing to try again says that there’s a fight God has placed in you. You may not get it right, but you’re willing to keep at it. The trick is that the devil is the one banking on you failing and not recovering. But God is still there despite all our failures and he’s allowing the things we consider “bad” to ultimately work out for the best.
The last one is the one I enjoyed the most.
4. I like myself. I don’t like everything I do, and I want to change— but I refuse to reject myself.
After reading this, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten frustrated to the point I rejected myself. There were plenty of times in my past where I very much disliked who I was and was very unforgiving to myself and all the mistakes I had made. Even now, there are a lot of things I haven’t fully forgiven myself for. This made me realize how important it is to simply love yourself. Unconditionally. There’s no point in rejecting yourself when God hasn’t rejected you.