The older I’ve gotten, the more God has made me realize the importance of learning how to reckon with his truth. When God speaks, he speaks clearly and it’s important that we learn to be aware and listen. A lot of the times we spend life running from our own troubles and our own pains and then we look back and wonder why our lives have become this wreck. We are the sum of our choices, and even though God can heal and he forgives and as children of God we don’t have to be held back by shame and regret; we still played our role  when we made our choices.

My family is currently facing a situation where the sum of decisions have finally come to a head and it has forced everyone to reckon and ask themselves, what role have we played in this dilemma. Yes, God is faithful he’ll bring us through, but even in that what truth will we hold on to? Will we go through the trials and let it harden our hearts and turn out minds against God, or will we allow God to show us who he is, even in this.

On Sunday my pastor shared a scripture from 1 Thessalonians ” In everything we give God thanks knowing this is His will for your life.” So even now in the trials, we give him Thanks for the time of reckoning. There will be times the truth hurts and it often may bring us to tears, but today I refuse to let the enemy capitalize on my emotions. I pray for peace and reconciliation, that my family is not torn apart, but drawn closer to God even now.

I was walking to work praying asking God why does it have to be like this? Why did I even have to go through the things I went through in my childhood and why does it seem like years later history is repeating itself with one of my siblings. And God said clearly, because you’ve been through it, you can pray and intercede. Even if my sibling never knows. I at one point was in their same shoes, and so I know and I can feel the pain. I think back on my childhood and it brings me to almost to tears because I remember. And if it had not been for God keeping me, and helping put strength in me to fight even when I didn’t know how, I wouldn’t have become who I am today.

Granted I’m not perfect, but God has been faithful in laying out all my paths. He knew which way I needed to go to get where I am, and to get me where he wanted me to be. Was the road easy, NO. Is the road any easier today, NO! But is he still faithful, YES!

The older I’ve gotten the more I’ve learned to stop fighting God and just settle in his love. Even with tears in my eyes. Because no good thing will he withhold for me. So closed doors and disappointments are still blessings. But no matter the path God takes, when he speaks truth we must learn to reckon and abide in his word.