Book Club Discussion 2: The Choice to Connect to Your Life (Chapter 1)
Hello everyone, hope your week has been great. Thank you for those who read the blog or either gave their feedback. The support and the feedback was appreciated. This week our discussion focuses on Chapter 1 of Healing is a Choice.
Let me make a quick correction and apologies. In a previous post I put that we would be reading chapter 2, but then I realized our last discussion was only on the introduction. So this week we will focus on Chapter 1, not chapter 2. Sorry if there was any confusion. I do apologize for the mix up.
Chapter 1 deals with the choice to connect your life and the big lie “All I need to heal is God and me”
Right off the bat, the big lie got me. I thought about how easy it can be to believe that all you need is God to heal. Although there is some truth to this statement, God also sent people in the earth to help us through our healing process. I know from personal experience that it takes a support network to heal. Fellow-shipping with other believers during your time of healing is almost essential so that you don’t allow the devil to seclude you from others that can be your strength and source of encouragement.
When the author discusses Rachel’s journey of connection with her past, it made me realize that there’s a difference between acknowledging the pain and then choosing to deal with it in order to be healed. It seemed like initially Rachel simply acknowledged her pain, but then she buried it deep and tried to forget it. But she had never really dealt with it. It wasn’t until she started going to counseling and openly speaking with others that she started to deal with what she had been feeling.
I’m guilty of this. When it comes to my parents this is me all day at times. I used to swear up and down for years I had forgiven them. I felt like once I had made it to college I was free. I had made it further than they did in life and I felt like I had an opportunity to prove my point that I had turned out “okay” in life despite my childhood. Little did I know how deep some of my pain went. I essentially spent half of college making choices out of pain, not realizing it until my senior year when it became obvious there were some things I had never dealt with.
It wasn’t until after college that I was able to openly speak to someone about my childhood and start to really feel and understand the depths of all that I had experienced in my childhood. Even until this day, I’m still digging deep in that area of my life.
The author talked about the wall of weight that overweight people use to “protect themselves” from connecting with others. This made me think about how, when we choose not to connect and deal with the true emotion, then we connect to other stuff that’s not always healthy. For overweight people, they connect with their food and their weight because it’s comfort. It helps them avoid the possibility of more pain. For me, it was sex and men. For years that became my comfort of connection.
Connecting with others really takes courage and faith. Not in the other person, but in God. Connecting with others isn’t easy. It’s still something I’m working on. Because for so long the only way I knew to connect with people was if I wanted something done, or if I wanted sex. I was used to connecting with people in a selfish manner, but now God is showing me more about making genuine connections with people and connecting with others with his purpose in mind; not my own selfish agenda. One of my biggest connections has been found in my mentor. It was through her I found a place of safety where I knew I could finally be heard. That was a connection I grew up missing and God allowed her to help fill that missing link.
I could go on and on about connecting. I’ve already been long winded, so please please please feel free to answer the questions below, or chime in with a comment on something I mentioned in my general thoughts.
1. Why do you think it’s important for us to have supportive people around us during our healing process?
2. What are some reasons people avoid making connections with others?
3. Who are the three people closes to you? How are you connected to them? How have these connections lead to growth or healing in your life?
Next week, we will discuss Chapter 2 and 3. Just to pick up the pace a little bit. For that posts, hopefully I won’t be as long winded. Again, please spread the word about the online discussion. Invite people to read the blog and share the posts with others. I invite others to comment and leave feedback. I love hearing from other people and their healing journey.