Chapter 7 Discussion: Healing is a Choice

Chapter 7 was probably my favorite chapter. I connected the most with this chapter because it dealt with forgiveness and forgiveness was something I’ve struggled with for years. Whether it was forgiving myself or learning to forgive other people.

Chapter 7: The Choice to Forgive

Big Lie: “Forgiveness is only for those who deserve or earn it.”

Let me start this discussion off by saying the big lie in this chapter is by far, the furthest from the truth. God forgave and forgives us daily when we don’t deserve it or have we earned it. But he forgives because he loves us.

pg. 120 “Justifiable Resentment” is the internal terrorist of forgiveness. Very dangerous because the hurt and pain is very real. But kills from the inside out because it eventually affects other areas of your life. Just because you have the right to feel something, doesn’t mean it’s right to stay in your emotions.

Forgiveness is about sacrificing our right to hold a resentment or grudge against someone else. pg. 124 Un-forgiveness affects our health, LITERALLY! Forgiveness should change the heart and soul. pg. 124-125

pg. 128 Part of forgiveness is accepting that God did not intervene in  your behalf even though he could have. But God doesn’t have to protect us from every little thing. Some stuff we need to go through; you never know what God’s plan is.

It’s okay to admit that things in your life will never be the same. It’s called life and maturity in Christ.

Sometimes forgiveness starts with forgiving ourselves first. Before I could forgive my mother, I had to learn to forgive myself. Once we understand what God did to forgive us, only then can we in turn give that same forgiveness and compassion to others.

Forgiveness unhooks you from carrying around the resentment, shame, guilt etc. Forgive and free yourself! Forgiveness is a choice to be free. If God has forgiven you, then you can forgive others. God forgave us when we didn’t deserve it, or earn it.

Forgiveness should be a way of life. Forgive and forgive again, because offense will come!

“Grieve all that you have lost, and you can forgive what you cannot undo— when you do, you will be free,” pg. 137

The other person does not have to be present for you to forgive them. They don’t even have to know they did something to you for you to forgive them. However, sometimes asking for forgiveness can help start healing in not only your life, but the other person’s life.

“Resentment, bitterness and lack of forgiveness anchor us to a past that cannot be changed.” pg. 142 Un-forgiveness is replaying the same event over and over in your mind hoping that the outcomes of past event will change when they WON’T!


1. What are the dangers of a “justifiable resentment”?

2. Describe a time you had to forgive someone and it was difficult to do? What made it difficult and how did you learn to eventually forgive that person?

3. How do we benefit from forgiving others?


Chapter 6 Discussion: Healing is a Choice

Moving along with our discussions from Healing is a Choice. I’m determined to get through all my discussions. Life continues to keep me busy however. But I’ll keep posting when I can nevertheless.

Chapter 6 “The Choice to Embrace Your Life”

Big Lie: “If I just act as if there is no problem, it will finally go away.”

I liked the point the author made on page 113, where he talks about embracing all the bad moments in our lives and later God will make it seem like those bad moments were part of his plan for your life all along.

Must embrace the good with the bad. Don’t segment our lives. It’s the same life whether things are going good or bad. Good can’t be good without having the bad to compare it to and vice versa.

Part of embracing life is adjusting our expectations of life. pg.114 when we want things to go one way and they turn out differently; embrace life and make the adjustments.  Ultimately God has something better in store.

“He will make the best come out of the worst if you will trust him to do so.” pg. 114

Embracing the abrasive. pg.115-116 God uses people around you as “grace growers.” They cause you to grow/stretch and help develop your character.

Difficult moments create great testimonies for God to get the honor in our lives.

When we embrace our lives, it can draw others to Christ through us being a living testimony


1. What are some things you’ve experienced in life that have forced you to make an adjustment? How did you handle the adjustment? In the end, how did that adjustment help further the plan God has for your life?

2. Describe a “grace growing” moment in your life. How did you feel going through that moment/experience?

3. Why is it important to embrace the good and bad in our lives?

Chapter 5 discussion: Healing is a Choice

I know that I am behind on my discussion posts and I apologize. Even when you plan as hard as you might, life still happens. =(  However, I am posting better late than never. I am still interested in continuing this journey of healing.

Chapter 5

The Choice to Help Your Life

The fifth big lie: “I can figure this out by myself”

General Thoughts:

-The fifth big lie alone is the story of my life! How easy it is to believe that we can heal ourselves if we just figure out the right solution. But without new information and someone to hold you accountable, you can’t fix the problem by yourself.

-Pg. 91 proverbs3:5-7 beware of self-deception. This is what keeps our minds trapped in our own world instead of going outside of ourselves to seek help. God doesn’t want us to lean to our own understanding. There are some things in life not meant for us to understand, but to trust in Him and know He knows the best plan for our lives.

-pg 92 “when we don’t treat the wound, the wound infects other parts of us and spreads out into other relationships.” Yes, more than true. Been there, done that. If we aren’t honest about the healing that we need in our lives it will easily begin to affect other unexpected areas of our lives. The infection starts from the inside out; some infections spread slowly, others don’t. I encourage you to seek healing today for whatever it is you need and not to wait any longer.

– The biggest deception of thinking we can figure it out by ourselves, is that a lot of the times we find that we get comfortable. Even though we know we need help, we find ways to “justify” whatever it is we’re going through. I agree with the author on pg. 97 as he talks about reaching a place where we no longer make excuses, but get to a place where he honestly seek help. He has a point where he ask if you have become accustomed to your brokenness. I’ve been there and I know some others may testify to this as well, that it’s so much easier to give up and be defeated vs. putting in energy and effort to fight; especially if you’ve been in the same slump for a while. But I am here to encourage you to fight, no matter how many times you get knocked down. If you fall down 8 times, you get up 9. Don’t stay down, don’t get comfortable, you can be healed and God does have something greater planned for your life!


1. Why might people be embarrassed to receive help?

2. What are some dangers of relying on our own mind to heal us?

3. What can be the deception with self-help books when it comes to trying to get healing in your life?

Again, I apologize for posting late, if anyone was following along. Please feel free to post and comment; share your thoughts below. I would love to hear feedback. All my Book Club post are open forums to start discussions of whatever may be on your heart.

Please be sure to be on the look out for Chapter 6 and Chapter 7 discussions coming soon!