Then and Now: Identity Crisis
This past Sunday,I found myself on bended knee at my church altar. And as I kneel there before God, one of the ministers prayed in my ear “Don’t loose your identity for other people.” And it was like everything that I had been going through with the organization I joined in 2010, made sense to me. I began to see that from day one, it was all about a lifestyle that opened the door for greater things to happen in my life. It was almost like a domino effect.
…That was then June 4th, 2012…
This is now: January 6th, 2015….
I stumbled across this while searching through older draft post on my blog. I never published this until now and it’s a moment I still remember all too well. Looking back, it makes me realize even more how strategic the enemy can be in our lives. That whole incident I experienced for 2 years of my life was meant to take me out. And at one point I thought I was going down for the count.
Since then I have come a long way, and I’ve truly come to understand who I am in Christ. I’m not saying everything has been perfect since then, but I am saying God has done some major things in my life since then. Since then, I’ve come to use that moment of my life as a testimony for others of what I’ve been through. God didn’t allow me to go through it without purpose. I didn’t allow the incident to keep me defeated; especially once I realized God wanted so much more out of my life.
In many incidents we find ourselves saying: “If I had knew then what I know now…” But I wouldn’t go back and trade anything that happened to me during that time period in my life. Without it, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I know it sounds crazy, but all things work together for God’s good. Good and bad. During that moment it seemed bad, but now I realize that was a time period I fought to draw closer to God because of all the drama that was happening in my life.
So, for those of you who try to sweep your past under the rug, or erase memories of your past; don’t. It’s okay to have a past; even one you’re not particularly proud of. During 2010-2012 I did a lot of things I’m not proud of, but even in that God has used it to shape me for his will and I think it’s important to acknowledge that.