I Waited for You

Stuff like this gives me hope in Christ to wait on God for real love and not waste my time settling for something cheap. This poem blew me away!!! It was great. ❤


66 Love Letters Excerpts: 1 Kings

I’ve been reading this book called 66 Love Letters by Dr. Larry Crabb for about a month. The book breaks down how each book of the Bible is part of a larger love letter written from God to us. Book by book, the author goes through and dissects the important “love points” found in each book of the Bible. (Even those books that seem hard to read i.e. Leviticus, Revelation..) In every book he redirects us back to the importance of loving God. Love should be at the center of the lives of a believer. If we keep Jesus at the center, then we keep love at the center because Christ is love.

I was reading the section on 1 Kings and it really stood out to me because it described me to a “tee.” I really think anyone who struggles with control should read this section, because the author shed light on the idea of control in a whole new light.

The author focused on how too often as Christians we’re more concerned with managing our lives and keeping them in “order” according to God’s rules and principles, but we never bother to connect with God through a relationship. It’s like coming to church and reading the Bible just to get a “check in the box” but never really engaging your soul with Christ. You can’t substitute rules and principles for a relationship with Christ. It must be a choice to engage in the relationship, because that’s where the love comes in at.

Being a Christian is not about a formula that you follow to make everything in your life perfect. Sometimes we can be so caught up trying to manage our lives, that we’re willing to sacrifice holiness over methods that just seem to “work.” ( Even if those methods are not exactly holy.)

My personal testimony in this is that as I became an adult, I became very controlling about my life. I had lived a childhood of chaos and disorder that I knew when I got old enough to make some choices in my life I wanted order and peace…no matter what it took. But keep in mind without the mindset of Christ, what we call order and peace may not be Christ’s standards. It seemed for a while my methods were working. I was accomplishing my goals: I was in college, I wasn’t a teenage mother like my mom, I was making good grades, I had a plan for my career, I graduated from college and not soon out of college I started working with a job doing what I went to school for. My life was on a pretty good track. ( There were bumps in the road, but I always got through it…not always acknowledging that it was Christ who had kept me..)

Then, stuff started happening that was just out of my control to “fix”. I soon realized my life wasn’t exactly going to go A-Z.  As a matter of fact even in all my control, God has constantly been teaching me how to let go and trust him; even in the midst of chaos. I’ve had money problems ( literally living from check to check..no money left over after bills have been paid), a car accident in 2011 that left me with a broken knee cap, and failed career goals among other things. I honestly thought I would be way further along in life at 25. But God’s plan is always greater.

I said all that to say, that our methods of trying to maintain life can’t compare to the God who is in control of life. While we waste all our energy trying to make one little thing happen, God already has a plan bigger than what we’re trying to make happen. God is always thinking further than we can plan any day.

And in those moments where we are tempted to compromise our faith to get what we want, or think we want; it’s not worth it when God has something greater to offer that will be much more satisfying. But if we don’t learn how to let go and let God be in control, we’ll never think he has our best interest at heart. Everything God does for us is because he loves us. Anytime we try to do anything out of our strength, we leave ourselves open for sin. When we’re so set on our own methods and ways, then we’re left to protect ourselves, because God can’t protect people who are outside of his will. When we think we’re in control, we usually end up outside of God’s will and his protection. The best thing I do now, when I feel myself trying to be too far in control; I meditate on the fact that the scriptures say “nothing good will God withhold from us” and also when the scriptures speak of Christ being a high priest who knows, feels and understand everything we go through. When I truly think on these things, I know that God is in control and he’s on my side.

I leave you with an excerpt from the book about the overall message of love to be found in the book of 1 Kings (written from God to you):

“Your desire to be effective, to depend on biblical principles for success in your family, church, career, and friendships is legitimately strong. But when that desire is stronger than your desire to be Holy and to depend on my power for becoming more like My Son, whether you succeed or fail in other ways, then you will not advance My plan, no matter how carefully you follow My principles or how much apparent success you enjoy. And you’ll be especially vulnerable to sin.”

Fill Me Up

This praise and worship song by Casey J. is for those moments where you need God in a real way to get through, but you don’t quite have words. Let the prayer be for God to fill you up with his strength. Today I need God in a real way and I’m at a lost for words, but I know that if he fills me with his strength and his spirit, I’ll make it through. I can’t make it on my own, but I know that God is greater in all things.

I had this song on repeat blasting because I needed the words to really sink into my spirit to help me come on through. I need God to fill me up and block out all the other stuff that tries to come in my spirit from the inside out. God pour into me so that I’m so filled with your spirit, nothing from the outside even has room to enter into my soul and contaminant all that you’ve put in me.



“If you provide the fire/ I’ll provide the sacrifice/ If you pour out your spirit /Then I will open up inside, fill me up God”

Ignite my Fire

This has always been one of my favorite praise and worship songs by William Murphy. It’s a great reminder not to let our fire go dim for God. We must always remember that God has purposed our lives to be a light that leads others to him. If our fire for God doesn’t stay lit, then how can we lead others to know Christ?

Psalms 119: 105  “Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path.”

If ever you feel your light for Christ getting dim, let his word be the light that reignites your relationship with him all over again. The biggest thing that helps me reignite my fire is thinking about the source of love in the relationship I have with Christ. That everything he’s ever done has been out of love, not because I deserved it or earned. And because I know how much he loves me, that is a love that I wish for others to know. Knowing this makes me want to keep my light lit. Not so that others can come to know God for blessings, miracles and healing. But so that if they don’t know God for anything else, they know what it feels like to be loved by Him. God’s love encompasses everything we’ll ever need if we simply embrace it. ❤