So today has been an interesting day already and I’m only halfway through the day. Early this morning God came to test me about my patience and my ability to trust him as my recompense and that I am not a victim when bad things happen to me.
Now for some people, this may seem like a small thing, but this is where I am in my walk with God and he works on me with both big and small test.
I ride the city bus and last week around Wed or Thurs. I noticed the bus was not reading my fare card properly. I had recently put $20 on the card, but when I would get on the bus it would read “no value.” So ever since last week I’ve been calling and going back & forth with the people about the money on my card.
To make a long story short, on Friday I thought the issue had been handled. I was told to buy a new card & they would transfer my funds over. I woke up this morning, waited on hold for 30 minutes just to find out the transfer of funds did not happen, yet I had to get to work.
Now initially I was not happy. I was frustrated because I felt like I was a “victim” and that it was my money, they messed it up & I wanted them to fix it RIGHT then and there. But when I got off the phone and I took a moment to get it together, I had to say “God, you go before me & make a way.”
I had to think on the very message my Pastor preached yesterday, and MY HOW RELEVANT it was! So, I had to pray & get my attitude together. I had to pray as I scraped around for some extra change to ride the bus. And I had to thank God that he provided me with the extra change to get on the bus. I don’t normally carry cash or change like that.
It was tough, my mind & emotions wanted to go back and forth. It’s hard to choose peace when you feel you haven’t done anything wrong. As I walked to the bus stop, I got a callback and I was told to go to the Downtown terminal and they would reload my card for me.
As I sat on the bus, I literally had to choose peace and tell myself that I am not a victim because something bad out of my control has happened to me. While I sat on the bus I read Philippians 4: 6-9 that talked about the peace of God going beyond our understanding & to think on things that are just & righteous in the sight of God.
I had to talk to myself and say I could choose to let this attitude control my mood for the rest of the day, or I could choose to take on the attitude of Christ and have peace and joy the rest of my day. I could choose to feel like I had a right to be upset, but truth is God made a way & he fixed it. Even though it was a bit “extra” and felt like I had been given a runaround, he was faithful in the end. Just because it didn’t go my way, doesn’t give me grounds to have an attitude.
On top of all of that I was late to work. Normally I try to make it to work between 8:30-9, but today I got in at 10 am because of all the extra with the bus card. But even in that, I had to put all my emotions to the side, come in, still give God thanks and be prepared to work as usual.
As I walked to work, I had to tell myself that from now on, I will have to make a daily declaration until it really sinks in my soul that: I AM NOT VICTIM BECAUSE GOD IS MY RECOMPENSE AND I CAN TRUST HIM WITH MY LIFE!
I learned today even in the simple things, God continues to work on us and shows us just who we are and where we are in our walk with him. We all have something to work on, if we didn’t, we wouldn’t need to depend on God.
Choosing to think differently about a situation and see the good of God in it is a challenge when our minds so easily go to the negative about a thing. But I encourage you to think about what you’re thinking about and choose to think of things of the Lord instead of negative things. God’s light is always shining in every situation.