The Journey

It’s no secret that writing is my spiritual gift from God. In saying that, I know through my writing there is a lot God wants to birth in me. Since 2011, I’ve known God has wanted me to write a book. At first I was excited until I realized 4 years have passed & the process for writing this book has been quite the unexpected journey.

 

so, here I am; January 1st, 2015. Still no book. But what I’ve come to realize is that maybe its not about the book, but the process itself in helping me walk through some healing in my life.

so this year my plan is to write everyday. Even if it’s just a sentence. For years I’ve thought it was all about crafting the perfect story. ( Funny, I didn’t even think I had a story to tell until 2013). And for years I lived in fear of failure because I wasn’t given a blue print for this journey. There is no guide or formula, I’m really just winging it. (with the grace of God on my side).

 

so, I encourage you to join me this year as I share daily on this adventure of birthing the true purpose & power in my writing. Bare w me, because if there’s ever a time to be transparent, the time is now.

so here’s to a new year of growth & transparency!

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FIGHT!!!

I was listening to this message by TD Jakes this morning and it was truly a great reminder and a good note of encouragement to continue to fight for what God has promised for your life. This year God has spoken a lot of things over my life and after hearing this message, it was a great reminder to get back on my horse and keep fighting for what God has spoken.

In recent church services we’ve also talked about “God not being slack on his promises…so that none should perish” (Paraphrase). And this has also hit home with me, that my “Yes Lord” and my ability to keep fighting for what he’s spoken is always connected to someone else God wants to reach.

The idea of “fighting” has been a constant theme in my life all year long. It seems to be a constant thing God keep reminding me of. Over and over in the big and small things God keeps saying to fight. I thank God for being faithful and always showing me who he is in all things.

Please let this message be an encouragement to you, even as we enter into the new year ahead. Fight! Fight with God’s purpose in mind and for the sake of allowing God to get the glory in all that you do.

 

Drawing Closer

Within the last 2 years, my relationship with God has really grown. I’m not saying I’ve been the perfect Christian, but God has really been doing some great things in my life. There’s a lot of it I don’t always understand, but somehow because of who God is, things always work out for His good and in everything he’s always showing me who he is.

The last year has really been a fight for me in my walk with God. It’s like I’ve walked away from a lot of things in my life. I’ve come out of a lot of things by God’s grace alone, but even in that I’m learning there’s always going to be a fight.  As Christians I think the biggest truth we have a hard time accepting is that to walk with God isn’t always easy. You literally have to fight to do right. The enemy isn’t just going to let you walk away. He’s playing for keeps and he’ll do anything to keep you bound.

This has been a hard truth for me to come to grips with. For me it’s two fold. On one end I get fighting, I’ve done it my whole life. So there’s a part of me that says, Lord why do I have to fight? Can’t you just fight for me? Isn’t that what God is supposed to do? I’ve been fighting so much in the natural, I’m too worn out to fight in the spiritual. These are my thoughts: literally.  But you know what they’re all excuses and mindsets from my past trying to keep me from fully engaging in my walk with Christ.

Yes, God does fight for you. But he fights WITH us. He can’t fight for us because he never overrides our wills. So we must choose to fight the good fight and fight with God. How do we fight with God: Prayer, fasting, reading his word, fellow shipping with believers; he’s already given us the tools we need.

I guess I’ve had to realize also the difference in fighting in the natural and fighting in the spirit. I fight in the natural by trying to be in control of everything. As a child my life was very unstable, so as I got older I always had to have a plan for everything. I became a thinker. I always had A-Z mapped out in my head. And I still struggle with that now.

In order to fight in the spiritual, we literally have to loose control in the natural and let God guide us. We have to trust his will.  In the natural we fight for things that will eventually turn to dust. We fight for trophies, we fight for the sake of being “right” about something because of our pride. We waste so much energy fighting in the natural.  We spend our lives fighting for the things that don’t matter.

Get in your mind: What is your trophy. What are you trying to obtain? A crown that’s incorruptible. When we stop trying to fight for things that are temporary and realize there’s an eternal gift to be obtained, then our minds can truly get a different grip about what it means to fight with the King.

In the last month or so God has really worked on my mind and how I view this spiritual fight. Spiritual warfare is real and you can’t ever afford to let your guards down with the enemy. He’s always looking for a sneak attack. I’ve also realized that we aren’t fighting to win, because God is on our side so he’s already claimed victory. But the we’re fighting because we want to make God’s reputation known in the earth. That he has us as a witness on earth and that we’re fighting for righteousness sake.

I’ve also learned that through the fights, I’ve drawn closer to God because I know I can’t overcome anything by my strength alone. He gives me grace in all things. Over and over, he continues to show the love he has for me, through the fights he helps me conquer.

xoxoxo

#worthfightingfor #God’sTeam

 

 

 

Even in the Small Things

In the last three days God has really been moving in my life. This past weekend, I finally had a breakthrough with an ungodly soul tie I had been fighting and I had an amazing supernatural experience with God. What I felt in his presence is beyond words. So while on Saturday and Sunday I received bigger breakthroughs, I really have to share a smaller breakthrough.

The job I currently have, literally pays me just enough to get by. Half of my check I put to the side for rent and the other half I live off of for two weeks and pay other bills out of. So in a nutshell I live off of  $200 every two weeks. Less than that when bills get deducted. I’ve gone weeks with only $1 and some change to my name.

Anywho, to make a long story short, I applied for food stamps to help with groceries around the house between my roommate and I. I had been getting them since January. In May I had to renew my benefits. I sent in my paper work several times and for whatever reason the process had been getting held up. Either they kept saying they weren’t getting my paperwork, or the information hadn’t been processed. I had went without food stamps since May, it’s now July.

All last week I kept calling the food stamp office trying to get some answers. Needless to say over the phone, I didn’t get very far. At one point last week, I really had gotten to the end of my patience. I end up going to the actual office Monday and explaining to them what was going on. Initially the first lady I spoke with seemed unresponsive. I wasn’t sure, how to react to her. I had to pray for patience, because at the end of the day I realized she’s simply a clerk up front. Eventually she sent me over to another window to speak to someone else.

The guy at the window told me, that I didn’t need to pull out anymore documents. ( I had brought everything with me. Faxes and all. Confirmation, notes of who I had called and dates things had been sent.) He explained to me that none of my paperwork had been processed and that they hadn’t even been processing my income correctly. He said he would go into the system to process the information and fix what needed to be fixed to get my food stamps back on as soon as possible. When  I asked for a timeline, he literally said, “I can’t give you one, but you just have to trust me. I will work to make sure you get all the food stamps owed to you, even the months you missed.” He even said that if they had a chance to work on anything later in the day, they would call me.

Initially when I heard that, I was like God did I just waste my time? Where’s the concrete evidence? Then I simply said, ok I will pray and trust that all will be done. I’ll give the people a week and try again. I had to pray for patience. I walked out, at peace. Not totally sure, but at peace.

Less than an hour later, the guy called my phone. He explained that this whole time I had actually been getting cheated out of my food stamps. Instead of getting $189, I had been getting $121. So he explained that they would have to pay me back from January to June all the money I had been missing. He said the total amount would be around $530. He also said that my food stamps for July should be available the next day.

So I was really excited. Happy that someone had finally came through. But the true test was me calling my card today and seeing what the balance was. I called this morning and the balance was $719.90. I couldn’t believe it! All I could say was God you are so great. All the aggravation I went through, trying to talk to these people and getting nowhere.It was all worth the wait!

And I know for some people it may not seem like a big deal, but literally if you saw the scraps of food we were living off of and how many times we had to be creative with left over chicken, you’d be just as excited. Lol. I promise you having the food stamps makes a difference. I literally don’t have money to buy groceries by the time I’m done paying bills out of $200. I’m lucky to save $10-$15 when I can.

But I shared that just as a reminder on a bigger scale that it pays off to wait for God. No matter what the situation is in life. Wait on him, because he will make it worth your wait. It’s better to wait and he give you all that he has, than for you to try and make it happen and get something beneath the quality he wants you to have.

So even in the small things God is showing me who he is and I’m even realizing  this is a principle I need to apply to other areas of my life. How I trusted him for food stamps, I should trust him for other things even greater than that in my life.

xoxo

#waitingpatiently

 

Casting Crowns: Who am I?

Talk about a song that makes you realize how to humble yourself?! The lyrics to this song  are simple, but beautiful. God is truly faithful and his mercy and grace are so amazing. His word is living and has endured the test of time even in the past, present and future it has stood and still stands strong and unchanging.  Who am I? Who am I Lord? Yours. #amen
Casting Crowns : Who am I
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt?
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart?Not because of who I am
But because of what You’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done
But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean.
A vapor in the wind.
Still You hear me when I’m calling.
Lord, You catch me when I’m falling.
And You’ve told me who I am.
I am Yours, I am Yours.

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again?
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me?

Not because of who I am
But because of what You’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done
But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean.
A vapor in the wind.
Still You hear me when I’m calling.
Lord, You catch me when I’m falling.
And You’ve told me who I am.
I am Yours.

Not because of who I am
But because of what You’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done
But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean.
A vapor in the wind.
Still You hear me when I’m calling.
Lord, You catch me when I’m falling.
And You’ve told me who I am.
I am Yours, I am Yours, I am Yours.

Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
‘Cause I am Yours, I am Yours.

###
This song blessed my soul, right on time this morning. I pray that others are blessed who read this as well. I encourage you to even visit youtube to listen to the song, of if you have the song to play it and really meditate on the lyrics. Simple words, but the power in them speaks magnitudes of the Lord’s truth.

Staying Encouraged

All week I have been listening to Joel O’Steen and Joyce Meyers while at work, and let me just tell you how much of a blessing it has been. Listening to them as I do work, help plant mental seeds to help my mind to reflect constantly on God’s word for my life. I know for many people who come in and out of office, it may just seem like background noise, but these messages have been really encouraging all week long.

I’ve been listening to messages focused on letting go of the past and letting go of negative mindsets you’ve had about yourself because of your past. I promise, each sermon has been a blessing. Everytime I hear the word, I become empowered about the way in which I think of my own past. Everyday their sermons have challenged me to grow more in my faith and shed off something from my past. It’s been great, truly a blessing.

I know to watch or listen to a video may seem like a small deal for some people, but it reminds me of the verse that says “Faith come by hearing.” With all the commotion that goes on in a day, I have to learn to keep my heart, mind and ears guarded, and these videos have been helping me in that area.

I encourage you to visit youtube and look up some of their sermons. Below I’ve listed the links to a few of my favorite ones:

Joyce Meyer “Your Words Affect Your Future Part 2” :  http://youtu.be/yTxHDIEPQlw

Joyce Meyer “Your Words Affect Your Future Part 1” http://youtu.be/vSghkueRTds

Joel O’Steen “You are Not Damaged Goods”  http://youtu.be/kRkwRmj1FUI

Joel O’steen “Move Forward” http://youtu.be/KSFEoHI-mmo

May these videos be just as much of a blessing to you as they were for me.

#amen

Joel O’Steen: Designed to Withstand a Storm

More from Joel O’Steen. I enjoy listening to his spiritual insight and wisdom. I love how he takes spiritual concepts and makes them practical for the everyday believer. I hope this video blessed you as much as it blessed me today. Be encouraged and know: God designed you to withstand the storms. =)

Let this message help set your week off to a good start in Christ.