It’s no secret that writing is my spiritual gift from God. In saying that, I know through my writing there is a lot God wants to birth in me. Since 2011, I’ve known God has wanted me to write a book. At first I was excited until I realized 4 years have passed & the process for writing this book has been quite the unexpected journey.
so, here I am; January 1st, 2015. Still no book. But what I’ve come to realize is that maybe its not about the book, but the process itself in helping me walk through some healing in my life.
so this year my plan is to write everyday. Even if it’s just a sentence. For years I’ve thought it was all about crafting the perfect story. ( Funny, I didn’t even think I had a story to tell until 2013). And for years I lived in fear of failure because I wasn’t given a blue print for this journey. There is no guide or formula, I’m really just winging it. (with the grace of God on my side).
so, I encourage you to join me this year as I share daily on this adventure of birthing the true purpose & power in my writing. Bare w me, because if there’s ever a time to be transparent, the time is now.
so here’s to a new year of growth & transparency!
Fighting for Me by Anthony Evans blessed my soul. I’ve been talking to my spiritual mentor the last two weeks about me fighting God about being in control of certain areas of my life. I opened up to her about how I’ve felt that I’ve had to fight to protect myself . At a young age , because of how I was raised, I always felt like things were out of control. So I built up a lot of internal mechanism to protect myself from pain and hurt and for years it made me feel safe.
But during our morning prayers we’ve been talking about letting God take complete control of my life. She’s been telling me that it’s okay to let my guards down and let God fight for me. That it’s okay to be a co-labor with God and that he wants the best for my life. But he can’t go against my will if I don’t let him inside.
I was randomly listening to the William McDowell station on Pandora and heard this song and had to pause what I was doing at work. I’m so grateful how God confirms things in his own way and how he uses even the smallest things to speak to us. He knows just how to hit home in the areas we need healing in.
When I looked up the lyrics I could’ve broke down in tears. The lyrics describe my current battle to the “tee.” God you are so great in all things. I read the lyrics and they left me speechless. I know I’m not alone, because I can only imagine others who also struggle with letting God fight for them too. Especially if they’ve lived like me and are so used to defending themselves. To let your guards down can be hard. It seems scary not knowing what’s going to happen next or how, but the irony of it all is; we don’t have to know what’s going to happen next. All God wants us to do is follow him. God has the plan, so if we follow him then we will be included in the plan.
Man this song has really been a blessing to me this morning. During our prayer time this morning my mentor said the Lord gave her three words: embrace, endure, and yield. This is how we overcome our inward battle of trying to fight for ourselves: we must embrace God’s word and his way, we must endure with his word and his way so that we can be made whole, and we must yield to his truth so that everything can come full circle in our lives.
Lord, I thank you for consistently showing me who you are. How powerful you can speak through the most unexpected things. #amen
Fighting for Me lyrics
By Anthony Evans
When I first met you I must admit
I was fighting and losing
But I wouldn’t tell You ’cause
I knew that You’d take over
I wanted to undo all my mess
So it looked like I did it on purpose
You had my solution
But I knew that You’d take over
I wouldn’t let you in ’cause
I’d have to begin
To let it go
And I held onto my pride
Cause I wanted to be in control
But then You showed me
YOU’RE FIGHTING FOR ME
NOW I DON’T HAVE TO ANYMORE
YOU’RE LOVE IS HOLDING ME
WHEN I CAN’T HOLD ON ANYMORE
MY HEART WAS BREAKING
BUT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO ANYMORE
I DON’T DESERVE IT BUT YOU’RE SHOWING ME I’M WORTH
I’M WORTH FIGHTING FOR
I’M WORTH FIGHTING FOR
I’m glad I chose to do
Not what I felt but what was true
I finally did it cause I knew that you’d take over
I’m grateful now I see
This pain is the reason I believe
I think it’s incredible
How Your loss could win me over
I wanna let you in ’cause
I need to begin to let it go
And for my pride I apologize
‘Cause I know
You wanted to show me
The size of the fight
Is measure by the prize that will be won
You showed me what I’m worth
When You poured out Your love
And now I know (You’re fighting for me)
Now I know (You’re fighting for me)
So when my battle comes
My faith is strong because I’m not alone
This is the current book I’m reading and it has been an amazing story to read. The first 10-15 pages I could barely get through because I kept crying tears. I kept crying because immediately the words began to hit home with my own scars from my past life. It’s funny how I randomly picked this book up last minute while in the library last week, and how when I began reading I realized it wasn’t a random choice at all. God meant for me to pick up this book and read it.
Reading it has helped me shed a whole new light onto my own past. It has helped me to see that truly all things work together for the greater good of God. I’ve been prophesied to several times that I was supposed to write a book to help young girls and young women, but often times I’ve felt disqualified because of my past, or I’ve felt overwhelmed in figuring out where to even start. However, after reading this book, it’s obvious that my past has well qualified me to help others. My scars from my past are a testimony and those are the stories I need to tell. My scars are a true testimony that it’s not always how you start, but how you finish. It’s a reflection of God’s love. How he accepts us as we are, but once we come in he cleans us up. He doesn’t just leave us how he found us. The scars are a sign of healing by nature, an open wound was once there, but through the healing of Christ the wound has been closed and healed.
The book talks about not being ashamed to tell the story behind our scars and what we went through for God to get us where we are today. It’s through our scars that other people are able to recognize the power of God in our lives. If we’re able to overcome our situations, then God wants us to use those moments to spread encouragement to others. This book really gave me a different outlook about everything I’ve gone through since my childhood. It’s given me strength and encouragement to really begin to dig deep and revisit some of the hard places in my life. This time when I revisit them, my mindset won’t be one of regret, or shame, but one of a willingness to see the beauty in that scarred place of my life and the good that God meant for it.
I encourage others to join with me as I continue to read this book and share their experiences of scars from their past. I pray that the book be a healing to anyone else who reads it and has had trouble dealing with their past. The book is truly a blessing, an eye opener and definitely a life changer.
I saw this video shared on a friend’s Facebook wall and I fell in love with it. This skit is very moving and a great reminder of how easy it is to get lost, but also a reminder of how powerful God’s love is to help you overcome whatever you have struggled with along the way.
I also love the song they used by the way, although I never initially saw Lifehouse as a Christian Band.
Watch, enjoy may it bless your spirit and bring you closer to God.
More from Joel O’Steen. I enjoy listening to his spiritual insight and wisdom. I love how he takes spiritual concepts and makes them practical for the everyday believer. I hope this video blessed you as much as it blessed me today. Be encouraged and know: God designed you to withstand the storms. =)
Let this message help set your week off to a good start in Christ.
A quick Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers. I hope that everyone is enjoying their families and reflecting on the things they’re thankful for.
Tuesday night church service my pastor said something that stuck out to me: “In order to be thankful you have to think first.” Which means, you can’t be thankful if you haven’t thought about where God has brought you from. Because God has brought us all a long way, it should be our reasonable service to thank him and give God due praise. Everyone has something to be thankful for; even if it seems like you’re taking baby steps. I know I’m not perfect by far and I still mess up; but I’m not where I used to be by any means. Everyday my walk with God is a work in progress.
I encourage you to read Psalm 100, and consider today not just a day of “thanksgiving” but a day of praise to God for all that he’s done and for all that he will do.
Happy Thanksgiving once again to you and your family. =)
Many people may know that I’m not too fond of Gospel rappers. Sometimes, I just find myself a little confused about their music. However, there is one Gospel rapper I actually do like and he’s a local Jacksonville artist that I support. Poetic Lace is at it again with his latest music video for “Day After Day.” This track can be found on his debut album When Silence Falls. Be sure to support and check out the video link below:
For anyone interested in keeping up with the latest updates from Poetic Lace, or for more music and videos by this artist, be sure to follow him on Twitter “@PoeticLace” or check out his Facebook page “Artist Poetic Lace.” I love supporting local artists, especially when the message in their music is positive.